Is “It” OCD?

I guess many of us are fans of Stephen King: in my opinion, he’s one of the greatest contemporary authors and I’m pretty much addicted to his books. Who hasn’t heard of Carrie or the Shining? And obviously, about Pennywise, the creepy clown who gave us a few nightmares.

A couple of days ago, I had a very interesting conversation with one of my friends: both of us adore Stephen King’s IT and we were trying to figure out what actually “IT” was – we could not finally arrive to a conclusion, but this discussion made me think about “IT” and idea came to me:

Isn’t “IT” OCD?

Yes, I know that sounds kind of crazy and I really do not want to sound like your literature teacher from high school who was trying to tell you what hidden meaning the different novels/poems had, however, the more you think about it the more it makes sense.

So why do I think IT’s just like OCD?

Because IT always appears as ITs victim’s biggest fear:

– to Eddie, IT was contamination and illness (and probably, we need to say no more about this: most of us with OCD have already experienced the intense fear of catching a dangerous disease or the extreme fear of dirt and germs)

– to Bill, IT was the feeling of guilt, for no reason – a feeling that’s way too familiar to many of us, a feeling that keeps us awake at night

– and to poor Henry Bowers, IT was the biggest nightmare of anyone with OCD: acting on intrusive thoughts. One of the most devastating type of OCD is when you’re afraid of harming your loved ones or doing something crazy, something dangerous  – so reading about someone who has actually acted on their intrusive thoughts is one of the scariest things I could imagine.

And obviously, I could add a couple more characters to Stephen King’s IT to this list, but I’d prefer you to give me a few more examples in the comment section. 🙂

Finally, do not forget: OCD (just like IT) is just a clown! We should not let it control our life!

We all float down here 🙂


Image result for balloons pennywise


OCD – Afraid of blinding yourself

Hi All,

Note: I have started a new blog:
You can find the new version of this article on:


So, as I’ve mentioned earlier, I do not only write about the obsessions that I have in this particular period of my life but also about the things that I used to be scared of and also about the experiences of my friends.
And today I decided to write about one of the biggest fears that I had as a teenager – and that’s a fear of blinding myself. Sounds shocking right?

Before I start telling the whole story, you need to know that I wear contact lenses. It’s an important thing to mention because that’s how this whole fear started.
So one day, I’d just put my contact lenses in – just like any other time. And while putting them in, I accidentally hurt one of my eyes. I guess for those who have OCD already have an idea how the story will continue from here:

I had a sudden thought – what
if one day, I’ll hurt my eyes intentionally – or even worse, what if one day, I’ll want to blind myself?

This thought appeared – and afterwards, It’d simply never go away. And that’s how a whole new chapter started in my life. My fear of blinding myself was so strong that I couldn’t even sleep properly and I had to stop wearing contact lenses as I’d not have been able to put them in or take them out.

Obviously, the story is still not over. The whole story started with just one single obsessive thought but the fear started to actually overtake my whole life. I started to have rituals and I was hoping that they’ll stop me from gouging out my eyes.
One of them was asking my family members to tie my hands before I go to sleep. But after some time this wouldn’t help either as I was thinking of all possible ways how I could theoretically get rid of the ropes and still hurt my eyes.

And it went on for a few months, but let me tell you what I did to overcome this particular fear: I decided to systematically expose myself to all the things I’m afraid of and to all the situations that’d make me think about blinding myself. So, I started to wear lenses again, I stopped asking my family to tie my hands and I left all the knives on the kitchen table (yes, I also considered a knife to be a very dangerous object as one can easily bline oneself with it…).
The beginning of my journey was terribly difficult, but it was worth it.

Sometimes, I have the impression that OCD will never ever leave me, but the fact that I could overcome one of my biggest fears as a teenager is actually helping me a lot and is keeping me motivated as It kind of shows me that nothing is lost.

Please do not hesitate to share your success stories in the comment section! 🙂

Afraid of chocolate cookies – one of the weirdest phobias

So far, I’ve only been posting about OCD, but unfortunately I do not only have OCD, but I also have a couple of pretty weird phobias – which I guess have absolutely no connection to my OCD.
One of them may sound funny to most of you: I’m terribly afraid of chocolate chip cookies.

Yes, that’s true. I’m not joking…I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s unfortunately true. Just to show you an example of what kind of chocolate cookies I’m afraid of, I have also attached an image – and yes, it’s terribly scary for me to look at it.

Obviously, this phobia is not making my life much harder, but it’s still pretty inconvenient especially that you can not really tell it to anyone as most of the people would simply make fun of you or laugh at you – or simply think that you’re just joking. (And I guess many of the readers will also think that I’m not being serious.)

Looking at chocolate cookies can literary scare me to death. It all started when I was a kid and I’d just cry if someone gave me chocolate cookies. Then, this whole thing continued in my teenage years, when my cousin and my friends would bring me some chocolate cookies to make me run away – which was a totally cruel thing.

And yes, nowaday it’s getting slightly better cause for example I could still look for the picture above and attach it to my post but I still avoid looking at it and also at McDonalds, I’ll always try not to look at chocolate cookies (I could actually never understood why they even sell chocolate cookies – it’s just scary). But then at least, I’m not running away from chocolate cookies anymore, so that’s already a huge step.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to overcome this fear because it’s not something that has a huge impact in my life, so I prefer simply avoiding it –  however, writing a post about it seemed to be a good idea to me as I’ve tried to google if anyone had the same fear but I haven’t found anything similar, so I just really want to know if I’m the only one who’s scared by chocolate cookies of if there are any more people with the same fear.

So, please feel free to comment if you have the same phobia! – and as you may have seen in some of my previous posts, I sometimes laugh at myself so I’ll not be offended if any of you makes fun of my phobia – even though it’s really not a joke.

OCD Stories: Afraid of not finding the way home

Hi All,

I have promised myself to publish a new article every single day, as writing eases my OCD symptoms, furthermore I think that it is important to share our experiences with other people who are suffering from this terrible disease. However, I do not want to be selfish and I do not want my whole blog to be about myself, so today I am sharing the story of one of my friends (obviously, I am doing so with her consent and anonymously) and as I do have a lot of non-English speaking friends who have OCD, I may be sharing other stories later.
Many of the people who do not have OCD think that OCD is a kind of “cleaning obsession” and they can not even imagine how huge the variety of different symptoms, thoughts and obsessions is.
So the friend of mine whose story I am sharing today has a terrible fear: she is afraid of going too far away from her home as she thinks that she may forget the way back. I think for most of the people this fear may be totally ununderstandable, however, when I found out about it, I could perfectly understand her fear: the feeling when you walk in the city and see its endless streets, maybe you even get lost for a moment – it can happen to anyone, even in their own cities. I guess that’s how it starts, if you get lost once, you will ask yourself – what if this will happen again? And from here it’s only one single step to a new fear that you can not get out of your mind, and this fear can really make your life hell as you can not simply enjoy an evening walk just like any other people.
So again, the what if question? The fear itself is totally illogical as why would anyone forget the way home, but on the other hand, there is always this “what if?” – it is extremely unlikely but we can not say that it would never happen. The worst thing about this kind of fears is that one can not talk openly about them, there are people who would simply laugh at you, others that would say that this is just a first world problem and you are inventing these things only because you are bored – and there are people who look at you in a really understanding way and they really try to help, but you know that they just do not really understand what you are going through.
That was everything I wanted to share today. 🙂 Thank you for reading and do not hesitate to share your OCD story in the comment section.

OCD – Fight the Boggart!

Hi All,

Hope everyone had / is having a great day. Today I decided to write about something more positive – one can not just write about one’s fears all the time.
So, I’d like share something that works for me while fighting OCD, but I think many of you may have even guessed the whole story from the title.
Yes, that’s the boggart from Harry Potter books – What do I exactly mean by that?
I guess most of the people from my generation know the story of Harry Potter and may be familiar with the creature called “boggart”, which is a kind of monster that takes on the form of your worst fear. For me personally, OCD feels just like this: a kind of monster that is suddenly attacking me and is taking on the form of my “most recent worst fear”.
So, what is the perfect solution? Try to laugh at it – just the way Harry Potter’s friends did. This may not work in all cases as sometimes OCD can really drive you crazy and there are moments when one feels that there is simply no way out – when you feel the urge to clean your room several times a day or when you are afraid of non-intentionally commit  a crime/suicide, you will not be able to laugh at yourself, but when you feel calmer, it does help if you just think about your fears and try to “make them funny”. – At least it works as laughing at something will make that thing much less scary.
So, just do not give up and keep fighting that boggart! 🙂

Daily Fear

As I’ve already mentioned in my previous posts, I’d spent most of my days with fear and today was no exception.
I’m sure that many of you guys (who have OCD) were/ or are afraid of chocking.So that’s exactly what happened to me today. As usually, I was having my lunchbreak at work – so of course for an average person it would not seem to be something really dangerous, but not for me, as myself, I see danger everywhere, I suddenly started to question myself: what If I am allergic to this pizza? Obviously, I’m not allergic to any of the ingredients, but then, my brain would not stop asking me the typical OCD question: but what if?
So, this “what if” went a little bit further, until the point where I could actually feel that I could choke and die at any moment. And of course, in the meantime I had to pretend that everything was alright as one can not afford oneself talking about OCD in the middle of the office.
Now that the whole OCD attack is over, I can even laugh at myself – and that’s the only good thing about this whole terror. When it’s over, I can make fun of myself and see how irrational I was, but then, obviously, at the moment when I have these thoughts, everything looks really dark.
So that’s pretty much it for today. Just another typical day with OCD – as a final thought, let’s be a bit positive – at least this is something that always remains constant in our ever-changing world.
Please do not hesitate to share any comments about your own OCD story – looking forward to hearing from you guys! 🙂